Monday, November 21, 2011

Innocence Lost

   So yesterday I told you that I would tell you why this year has been so bad and what happened that brought me to my knees. This is hard, very few people know about this, so bare with me if I go the long way around this story. Oh hell, I don't know how to do this without  crying. So ya I lost four friends this year, one by car accident, one cause her husband shot her, one cause she killed herself, and one from cancer. All that is/ was bad enough. My father had three strokes this year, my oldest daughter had breast cancer,she's fine now they caught it time, my oldest son was hit by a semi-truck while riding his motorcycle, he's still recovering, and on December 12, 2010 while waiting for her uncle to pick her up from cheer leading practice my 14 year old at the time was raped, not by some wacko off the street but by a 15 year old boy. I know that happened last year but we are still dealing with the effects this year and probably for many years to come.
      I have not always had an easy life, who has? Usually when things happen its because of choices I've made, there are always consequences to choices we make. That I can handle, all these things this year were beyond my control. And the rape, the rape leaves you in so much pain. My daughter will never be the same, my husband , well it almost crushed him. And he's not easily crushed, he's not some wimpy man. My husband is a long haired, rock an roll welder. He's been in war.
       The fall out for my baby girl has been awful, having to face the boy in school because it took them a week to arrest them, and when she couldn't handle going to school the school had her put on probation for truancy, at which the judge said she should have made wiser decisions with her actions. Where as I almost went to jail for yelling at the judge for saying that shit to my girl, if grown women have a hard time dealing how do they expect a child to? The cost, the doctors, the losing her innocence, her needing to be put on Zoloft, all of this and the boy got six months and is now back at her school, the school fucked up and had him in the same classes as her, we took care of that then there's the bullying from his friends and family It just kept going on and on. I had guilt that if I hadn't been at work I would of been the one to pick her up, I would have been early cause I'm always early.
        So ya been a really big bad year. My baby girl is doing better, counseling, a lot of holding and time is helping her get better. And my baby girl, I call her Globug, she's strong. She has not let this defeat her, she still cheers, runs track, makes good grades. I'm so proud of her. But the effects are still there, on her, on her family. And ya I still want to kill the s.o.b. who did this. The Goddess is healing me but I'm not cured yet.


Jennifer said...

I am so very very sorry to hear of all the things you have had to endure! Lighting a candle right now to send you lots of love and positive energy flow your way! You, your daughters and family are true surviviors and so very strong! My wish is for you is have 2012 be the start of only beauty, love, peace and light!

Thank you so much for your kind words about my blog and my workshop! If you ever have any questions feel free to message me anytime!

Anonymous said...

Wow honey, no words can even come close to express how sorry I am for the pain you have experienced. My niece was raped when she was 15 by a 16 year old. She too had the same issues with the school and actually became so distraught (she did not have the support of her parents as your daughter obviously does) she ended up quitting school and getting her GED. The road ahead is a dark winding one, but there is always light along the way. May The Dark Goddess be by both your sides and in your daughters heart as she grieves through this pain.

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

I do hope that SOB is on The SEX OFFENDER registry!

Hope "time" will heal
(((hugs for you all )))Pat

CorvusCorax12 said...

that's enough to force anybody on their knees. I'm glad the counseling is helping some, but heck 6 month ???
And i would have given the judge a piece of my mind too...sending hugs