Sunday, February 12, 2012

It's Funny Sunday!

        Hello friends normally on Sundays I try and write something funny to make you smile, cause you know I love to see you smile. I do have some funnies today but also a message that my daughter Veronica emailed me and I thought I share it with you since there some really good information and tips in it. So bare with me here and feel free to copy it and share with your followers, after I do have some cartoons to make you smile.

I am particularly interested in the part about the wasp spray & car Keys...
1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.
4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it..

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house.. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.
6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.
7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.
9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)
10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.
11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.
12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.
A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at http://www.faketv/.com/)
1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.
4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.
6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.
7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.
8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Protection for you and your home:
If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you.

A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead.

The wasp spray , they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection.. Thought this was interesting and might be of use.

        I hope I made you smile! Have a peaceful Sunday! Until we meet again............





Kim Van Horn said...

Hey! I found you on the bad girls of blogging on blogaholics and I am so glad I did! I needed a good laugh! I am your new linky follower! Looking forward to your next post!

Kat said...

Oh I LOVE these! I had posted the burglar tips once before but I don't remember any of the other things - so many of them made really smile/laugh.

I'm visiting from Exposure 99% weekday hop. I hope that you can stop by my blog as well - on Tuesday I have a great giveaway going on with a small group of bloggers for an awesome prize. Hope to see you there.

Susi said...

These are brilliant, hahaha! I especially just LOVED the one about being normal. I had to add it to my Pinterest, hope that was ok! Thanks for visiting my blog and wishing me happy bday today!


I love that I've got your back..hahah

Courtney Pies said...

You have definitely made me smile. :)
I'm returning your follow on my Linky list. I appreciate you putting my button on your blog. It means so much to me!

I hope you have a wonderful week!

Much Love,

blessedchick said...

love the tips! new follower from the make my morning blog hop. would love a follow back

Kat said...

I sooo love your background and header picture!

Make sure you stop back at my blog as I have something for you at I hope that you will accept it and then pass it along to another deserving lady.