Sunday, July 22, 2012

Sunday's Funny's

      Hello friends, here's your funny's hope they make you smile!
      Nymphomaniac Convention 

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.. 

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat .. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his..

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" 

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston" 

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." 

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?" 

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. 

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. 

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck." 

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.." 

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

Seen in the Cafeteria
At work, my dad noticed that the name of an employee was the same as an old friend.  He found the man's e-mail addy and sent him a message.
When Dad received a reply, he was insulted and fired back another e-mail:  "I have put on some weight, but I didn't realize it was that noticeable."
His friend's hastily typed message, with an apparent typo, had read:
"Hi, Ron.  I didn't know you worked here, but I did see a gut that looked like you in the cafeteria.

Where's The Beef
The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears.  "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked.
"Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again. "I found that the cat had eaten it!"
"Don't worry, darling," said her husband.  "Don't cry.  We can get a new cat tomorrow."


Intricate Knot said...

Love it, love it, love it! All your funnies were most excellent funnies, but I have to say my fav is "Tonto Goldstein" that goes by the nickname "Bubba." Men think fast on their feet when it comes to possible sex! Haha!

Thanks, Natalie for getting my Sunday off to a great start! :)

Janice's footsteps said...

Thanks Natalie this was great and as I shared the first one with the hubs he high fived with gracious laughter.

FoxyMoron said...

Love the Bubba one! Thanks Natalie!


glad to know that someone was putting out funnies for the folks..good uns.