Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Fu_k Hump Day

     Hello friends, I hope all of you are doing alright. I realize I'm not writing on here as much as I use to and I miss it.
    Part of the reason is because I don't want to sound like a constant whiner. Life has just been so damn hard lately- who am I kidding for the last couple of years. And when my life is bad I hide and lick my wounds.
    I'm tired of hiding frankly. My life is not the greatest right now( I know who's is?) but holding it all in might not be doing me any good.
    I took Gloria back to the hospital last Wednesday and we just got the test results, she has C-Dep (for all of you non nurses it means basically that she has an infection in her intestines) it's highly contagious for any one who has low immune system. It also means that while she has it her Humira isn't working so she's in major pain.
     The crappy thing is Humira lowers her immune system so she easily catches cold etc, but the only other form of treatment is an IV drug but wants you start on that there's no where else to go for her Crohn's.
     I'm lighting candles for her to recover quickly, I'm not asking her to be cured, that's to much to expect, but to go into remission would be great.
     I'm with Debbie in that I just don't believe any more that everything happens for a reason. What good reason is there for my baby to have to go through all this pain? Explain it to me someone!
    The worst is I know this is just the beginning of what she could go through.
    This isn't even mentioning we found black mold in the house and I have to find a new place to live, or that my marriage has completely fallen apart, or that my step-dad is sick, my dog is sick and I STILL have a chest cold!
    See I told you you don't want to hear about all the crap going on in my life.
     That is not to say there isn't any good in it too, I have some really good friends who are here for me, I have other healthy children, I have Rachel who's helping me remember my dreams and that they can come true-it's a mater of figuring out what to do to make them possible.
     I do apologize for not being there for all of you, not giving you the support you need. I'm sorry I've been self centered lately. I promise to try not to do that any more. Until we meet again..... 
     

8 comments:

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

you don't owe anyone an apology..you take care of your life..we're all here for you.

Deb said...

You are NOT whining!!! Please vent all you care to, it does help. I will light a candle for Glo and one for you. If there is anything I can do please let me. I love you!!!!!

Janice's footsteps said...

Never apologize... life just plain sucks at times and right now you have EVERY DAMN right to vent, scream, cry, yell, bitch, whine, or stay quiet....BUT know there is those of us that care and are hear to listen & encourage you that no MATTER WHAT you are loved & cared about, I have Gloria & YOU in my prayers. ONE DAY AT A TIME dear friend just take it easy on you :]

FoxyMoron said...

That's why we're here, to hold each other up when we need it. Life isn't easy and people who pretend it is are liars. We need to just do the best we can with what we have.

Devinmaxwell34 said...

Don't ever apologize for taking care and focusing on your life and your world around you. That is more important than anything. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and i'm hoping everything gets better for you.

Susi aka Sinead said...

Sending hugs to you and I'm continuing to pray for you and your family, hoping things will start to improve really soon.

Intricate Knot said...

I second what all the wonderful ladies above said to you, Natalie. You are an amazing woman and you never sound like you're "whining" you have a LOT of stuff going on and you need to let it out! We're all here for you, just like YOU are there for all of us. Girl power rules!

Our dreams can come true...we just have to keep the faith. xoxo

Anna Smith said...

Huny, sometimes you need to put yourself first, and no-one is going to hate you for that. You are an amazing woman and you don't need to apologise - it's not wining, it's talking to your friends, and we are here for you. I hope things get better, sending some positive thoughts your way :) x