Sunday, August 5, 2012

Sunday's Funny's

    Hello friends, I know it's been a while since I last blogged or got to read any of your blogs. My son dropped my lap top and broke the screen(if any of you know how I can get all my info PLEASE let me know)which means my computer no longer works.
    I lost everything I need, plus all my pictures, I will admit that I cried myself to sleep that night-yes I know that was an over reaction and really didn't help my cold.
    I've also been away because I'm really sick and can't seem to get over this illness, and I've once again got major life decisions to make and honestly when I'm hurt and major changes happen in my life I hide away and lick my wounds until I can deal with them-more about those latter! Today is your funny day so here they are!

Yesterday's Computer Song
Do you know the song "Yesterday"?  Then sing along to this computer version.
Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away. Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone hanging over me. The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong. What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
Yesterday, The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay, Now I believe in yesterday.

Working on the Railroad
Benny wanted a job as a signalman on the railways.
At his interview, the inspector asked him this question:
"What would you do if you saw 2 trains heading for each other on the SAME track?
Benny replied," I would switch the points for one of the trains."
"Good.  But what if the lever broke?", asked the inspector.
"Then I'd run down to the signal box", said Benny, "and use the manual lever there."
"What if lightning struck it?' asked the inspector.
"Then..." Benny continued, "I'd run back into signal box & phone the next signal box."
"What if the phone was engaged?"
" that case," persevered Benny, " I'd rush down out of the box & use the public emergency phone at the level of the crossing up there..."
"What would you do if THAT was vandalized?"
"Oh, well then I'd run into the village & get my Uncle Toby."
This bizarre response puzzled the Inspector, so he asked, "And just why would you do that??"
"Because Uncle Toby...  He's never seen a train wreck!!"

The Laws of Computing
* When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
* When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
* The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
* When the going gets tough, upgrade.
* For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
* To err is human .  .  .  To blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
* If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
* A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked perfectly.
* The number one cause of computer problems?  Computer solutions offered by family members.
And if I may add - The best line I have heard when trying to explain to new computer users why something is happening that you don't understand is:
"I think you have a problem with the interface between the chair and the keyboard."

Harold was an old man. He was sick
And in the hospital.There was one nurse
That just drove him crazy.
Every time she came in, she would talk
To him like he was a little child. She 
Would say in a patronizing tone of voice,
’And how are we doing this morning',

Or 'Are we ready for a bath', or 'Are we hungry?'
Old Harold had had enough of this
Particular nurse. One day, at breakfast, 
Old Harold took the apple juice off the
Tray and put it in his bed side stand.
Next, he was given a urine bottle
To fill for testing.
So you know where the juice went! 

The nurse came in a little later, picked
Up the urine bottle and looked at it.
'My, it seems we are a little cloudy today. '
At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle
Out of her hand, popped off the top, 
And drank it down, saying, 
'Well, I'll run it through again. 

 We're Rich!

    O.M.G., we're rich!
 Silver In The Hair
Gold In The Teeth
Crystals In The Kidneys
Sugar In The Blood
Lead In The Ass
Iron In The Arteries
And An Inexhaustible Supply Of Natural Gas.
 I Never Thought we would accumulate Such Wealth!

     Hope I made you smile! Until we meet again....


Rue said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your laptop. Mine was on the fritz the last two weeks and I was very upset because I hadn't backed up my information, pictures and documents. I completely understand being devastated. I think a good computer tech can still get your files for you - but they usually run $60-100 an hour. Check around - someone should be able to help you with it.

I do hope you feel better. Life decisions are tough, but if it helps you get to where you want to be - it's work it. Hang in there!


FoxyMoron said...

I can't believe you still did the funnies with everything else going on in your life. But that's you isn't it? :)
I have all my photos on Picasa, it's a bit scary cause it just seems to lift everything off my computer but at least they are there on the net. Not much help to you know I know.
I love Aunty Acid, where did you find her?