Monday, August 6, 2012

I Hate Monday's

      Hello friends, life just sucks sometimes, you know? I realize there are people who are having a much worse time than I, that life has really sock it to them.
    One thing I do know though is that others suffering doesn't make yours not important, just different.
     If I was totally honest with myself-which usually I am-I've known for years this day was coming that is that my marriage is over. 
     I just can't don't want to carry this marriage any longer. I'm tired of feeling alone when I'm not suppose to feel that way. My mother once said you can feel lonelier with someone than without any one. And she's right.
     For years I've made excuses for him, and I'm just tied of it. The fact that he leaves it all (the kids, house etc.) all up to me-hell he won't even call for information on something that's for himself, I have to do it. I'm just tired of raising another child.
      Not once has he ever got out of his comfort zone to do something that needed to be done for the kids or I. He never stayed at the hospital with Gloria the many many times she's been in-not even so I could go home and shower, he's never been to any of the kids sports games or gone to watch them compete.
     And never once has he taken care of me when I was sick, hell he won't even make me a cup of coffee. I could go on and on. It doesn't mater. The crazy thing is I numb. At least for now.

6 comments:

Janice's footsteps said...

Natalie never try to compare suffering this was something that I struggle with all the time, I can't get pass my whining & then I feel even yukkier so sense I can not make me happier I try to comfort those I care about and you friend are one of them!!! This cross road you have approached is your and yours alone to decide which fork you are going to take on your marriage but I am always available to vent too without judging. Men get in their pity parties and the world gets to stop for them but us women still have to function and run EVERYONES lives as if we are tiptop June Cleavers, life just isn't that way it isn't always happily ever after and sometimes when there is no both sides working then it can be easier as a single unit. My husband which it drives me crazy, bananas & close to violence will say at my breaking point "it takes two, two to fight two to love and when only one is doing either then it isn't going to work" It stops me in my rant everytime. I feel the sorrow Natalie and I wish I could wish it away for you <3 Hugs love!!!

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

Reaching out to you with (((hugs)))
Pat

Susi aka Sinead said...

Everyone has their own suffering. I think it's great that you've tried so hard to save your marriage. But sometimes it just isn't enough. You're definitely NOT supposed to feel alone in a marriage. Hoping you'll come to a wise decision. Sending hugs your way!

FoxyMoron said...

I am totally relating to what you wrote. Seems like we go through stuff at the same time. Men are mongrels, we should all turn gay I reckon.

Intricate Knot said...

Oh Natalie, you've been through so much and had so much emotional stress (AND without the support you deserve).

Whatever decision you make on your marriage will be the right one. You are an amazing woman, with many talents, much more than you give yourself credit for.

I'm also sorry to hear that you're still battling a cold/infection and about your laptop. Have you managed to get your files from your laptop back? Everything will be on your hard drive and unless it was damaged in the fall, it is VERY easy for a techie to transfer files from your old hard drive to another computer. I wish I was close by, 'cos I could do it for you.

Sending you love and healing light. xx

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

you must come first...