Hello friends, it's been a stressful here I have to say. I'll talk more about that tomorrow cause today I just want to make you smile.
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A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school. However, when the bell rang, the dog went inside the building and made it all the way to the child's classroom before a teacher noticed and shooed him outside, closing the door behind him. The dog sat down, whimpered and stared at the closed doors. Then God appeared beside the dog, patted his head, and said, 'Don't feel bad fella'...they won't let ME in either.'
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Yes, Officer
A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road.
She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.
After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"
"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.
"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
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LIFE THOUGHTS BY "DUCKY"
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press "Ctrl Alt Delete" and start all over?
Wouldn't you know it!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
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A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school. However, when the bell rang, the dog went inside the building and made it all the way to the child's classroom before a teacher noticed and shooed him outside, closing the door behind him. The dog sat down, whimpered and stared at the closed doors. Then God appeared beside the dog, patted his head, and said, 'Don't feel bad fella'...they won't let ME in either.'
.gif)
Yes, Officer
A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road.
She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.
After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"
"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.
"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
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LIFE THOUGHTS BY "DUCKY"
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press "Ctrl Alt Delete" and start all over?
Wouldn't you know it!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
2 comments:
made me laugh
LOVE your Sunday Funnies, Natalie. But, I hope you got a smile out of it, too. Sounds like you could use one. xoxo
My favs are: "How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?" This is SO true!!!
"Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press "Ctrl Alt Delete" and start all over?" OMG. You have no idea how many times I've wished that!!
"Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever." Yeah, what the f*ck is up with that??? Grrrrr.
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