Sunday, July 15, 2012

Sunday's Funny's

    Hello friends here's your funny's not as good this week I'm afraid.

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. 
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." 
"What?" said the puzzled groom. 
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?" 
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. 
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. 
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. 
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. 
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. 
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. 
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. 
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. 
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. 
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" 
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" 
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

 “Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.” - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

 ”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’”


FoxyMoron said...

Love the "kitten hat", I want one!

Anonymous said...

I just love your Sunday funnys! They always make me laugh. I've told so many peeps the joke about Penis Van lesbian that possibly the whole world has heard it now!!
Brilliant stuff Natalie, thank you :))

Intricate Knot said...

Hahaha!! LOVE them all, but my fav is how to get a little old lady to say "fuck"!! Hilarious!

Your Sunday's Funny are AWESOME!! Thanks for making my day. xo

Janice's footsteps said...

I napped thru my Sunday so this came when I needed it most after a not so great day thanks for the funnies and your friendship Hope you have a great week :))